blame me for the rocks and baby bones. (warwolves) wrote,
blame me for the rocks and baby bones.
warwolves

  • Music:
... MOTHER, YOU ARE SUCH A BITCH, OH MY GOD.

note that she previously hit her thumb with a hammer, cracking the nail. later that day, she stabbed the same spot with an x-acto blade. yeah.

Mom: Jazzy, I was putting on my fake nails, and it looks like my thumb's started bleeding under it ...
POOR SUFFERING DAUGHTER: oh god, WHAT ARE YOU OKAY?
Mom: Hahaha! It's purple nail glue! Just kidding!
POOR POOR POOR DAUGHTER: ... FUCK YOU, OH MY GOD. DEAR JESUS.
Mom: Hahaha, I made you swear.

note, also, that my mother has:

- sliced chunks of flesh off with her saw (recently!).
- been rushed to the emergency room after a mirror she was carrying broke and sliced up the back of her wrist. if it had been the other side, she would definitely have bled out.
- nearly cut the tip of her finger off with a machete.

CAN YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND WHY I WORRY >>?

edit: [18:43] jazzy: okay so we have hilarious rules about rollerskates in the house, and by rules i mean LET'S ROLL BACK THE CARPET AND HAVE FUN!!!
jun: ...
jazzy: same goes for scooters and skateboards and stuff.
jazzy: well
jazzy: mom was wearing arman's (don't ask), and the first willy wonka was on
jazzy: and i have no fucking idea why but when the first song came on, she got in front of the TV and skated forward, then back
jazzy: except
jazzy: she tripped on the laces
jun: .........
jazzy: and then when she was falling, her arm went out and knocked over everything on top of the TV
jazzy: and we could not stop fucking laughing
jun: this is a beautiful case of apple and tree
jazzy: and so dad came out! and was all WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE
jazzy: and she got up and was all LOOK I WAS JUST SKATING LIKE THIS OKAY -_-
jazzy: and she
jazzy: tripped
jazzy: again
jazzy: right after we had gotten everything put back
Tags: mom, real life
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